Why Yellowstone is National Park Disneyland
Don't get me wrong, I love nature and National Parks. I've been to 36 of them and counting. There is just something about Yellowstone that differs from what you want a National Park to be. Geologically, it is fascinating! Yellowstone has more than 10,000 hydrothermal features, including geysers, hot springs, mud pots, and fumaroles. More than 500 of the geysers are active, accounting for more than half of the world's geysers! On the animal front, Yellowstone is just incredible, hosting 285 species of birds and being home to the largest concentration of mammals in the lower 48 states. From geysers to animals to 1,000 miles of trails, Yellowstone has a lot to brag about. But something happens to people visiting Yellowstone that is unlike anything I've seen in other parks.
Yellowstone is National Park Disneyland.
If you're reading this and think I'm crass, there is an Instagram page dedicated to the Tourons (Tourist x Moron) of Yellowstone and books called Death in Yellowstone to back me up. For some reason, piping hot water and signs that basically say: Don't walk here, you'll explode are blatantly ignored. Or people feel a strong desire to pet or ride the bison that can gore them to death.
I don't know what happens to people who visit Yellowstone that causes them to lose their minds. Sure, rotten egg-smelling bubbly water and steam isn't for everyone, and maybe it goes to their heads. I will never understand people's desire to do whatever they want in Yellowstone National Park. Why step off the boardwalks that say you could explode to touch the scalding, hot, bubbling water? Would you stick your hand in your pot of boiling pasta water? I don't think so. According to the U.S. Geological Survey results, 22 people have died of heat-related scalding since 1872, more than double the number of deaths from bear and bison encounters. Bubbles make people excited, I guess? Or else it's just inherent curiosity or lack of understanding of seeing these phenomena that makes people eager to conduct their own research and explore more.
Where Yellowstone does edge out other parks is on the accessibility front. Because of the opportunities to view wildlife from the roadside and geological features via the boardwalk system, many people can enjoy this park without long hikes. It seems like a weird ride of sorts, a drive-through Christmas light show. Drive to the parking lot, walk to the geyser, watch it explode, and move on to the next lookout. See the giant waterfall, "oh" and "ah" briefly, and move on to the next spot. So on and so on. It's not the style of park I prefer, but you can see a lot in a day. Now, if only people obeyed the You Must Be This Tall to Ride signs, as seen in Disneyland, like the safety warning signs in Yellowstone.
One thing I've never seen in my time visiting National Parks is a traffic jam to leave the park. Traffic to see wildlife or enter the park? Sure, I'll give you that one. It was already dark on my first night in the park, and there was this insane traffic backup. I figured it was the usual bison on the road or a car accident. After a long day of point hopping, I was ready to head home, but at least there was an incredible full moon to enjoy while the cars slowly crept forward. I finally saw police lights flashing in the distance and police officers waving batons to direct traffic. However, there was no broken-down car, accident, or bison. Just your basic daily Yellowstone National Park exit traffic. I was stunned.
Yellowstone does have a down season, which is in winter. You can only access certain sections of the park by tour or snowmobile, but the hot springs and pools remain uncovered by snow, which is supposed to make spectacular scenes. All in all, there are no fast passes in Yellowstone, skip-the-line tickets, and no way to avoid the crowds but to go in the low season.
Disneyland isn't for everyone, but like Yellowstone National Park, you can still enjoy it. Yellowstone is incredibly unique and provides opportunities to see incredible things you won't see in any other National Park. There will always be people in parks and bad tourists, but you can work to Leave No Trace and respect wildlife while still enjoying your time. Yellowstone shouldn't be the free-for-all National Park that it often appears to be, and all of us can work to make it better for wildlife and other visitors alike. While I may call it National Park Disneyland, people aren't wearing Mickey Mouse ears here, only Junior Ranger badges.
